Again.
The story of me blocking you on the social media continues… you
requested and I accepted then I unfriended you again and you request me again
and I accepted and today I unfriended you again. Shall we watch what’s gonna
happen next?
Sigh. You stop it, please. Don’t play with me. Im begging you…
For once again… I cried… because of you,, I was so mad, I felt so
much irritated. I wanted to dump you onto the wall forth and back. I wanted to
broke you into 8 or even 10 pieces. I wanted to punch hardly right on your not
pretty face ten times. I really wanna tell you that I hate you. I really
wanna tell you to stop any connection toward me. I want you to help me. Help me
to forget you.
*crying*
If and only if I could,i really wanted to ask you :
‘Can you do me a favor? Will you help me to let you go? Will you
stop acting nice, pitiful and apologetic to me?’
You don’t have to be one… Cause I knew you more than enough. Stop it
right there you baddas. Im not interested into your playful words. It felt like
you are so crazily annoying right now. Im so mad at myself for being dragged
onto you,for me being played by my own emotions, for me can’t differentiate
between reality and lies.
Ahhhhhh. It seems so easy to you. It really seems easy to you. I
could see it.
Do you really think everything was as simple as that? Bloody shit!
Screw your genuinely-short-simple-thinker-blood !
I told you I will always pray for your happiness. And once in a time
eventhough you might not want my pray, still I really sincerely pray for you ;
hoping you will always being showered with His blessing, being guided toward
the right path, succeed in everything you do in the world and hereafter, being
a good son to your beloved parent, and I really hope you will be a good man to
your woman. If only you ask for my advices, I wanted to tell you not to spoil
her, be good to her, be true with your words and promises. Never tell you love
her until you really want to marry her.
Otherwise, its not love. I must say its only ‘nafsu’. And ‘nafsu’ is something
to teach not to follow.
You asked my forgiveness for so many times. During ramadhan. And
during Eid. Even during my birthday. And I leisurely forgave you like every
time I did. I felt so sure that I have nothing to hold grudge onto you. I was
so happy to let you receive my forgiveness. Once in a time, you texted me for
the sake of bertanya khabar. Eyy man stop it already. Its not even a sin now
when it comes to us not bertanya khabar each other. Its okay. And its really
okay I tell you. If you think it is for the sake of xnak putus kan
silaturrahim, you really can go die. Basically, man and wowan really not
supposed to have any conversation for useless thingy. You can live your life
happily without thinking of menyambung silaturrahim with me. You can continue
your days,months and even years without texting me. It will only disturb my
progress and mission to vanish you away from my life totally. I promise that I
will not respond to you anything anymore. Don’t you worry. Me too wanna go far far
away from you. I deadly wanna forget everything about you *its seems impossible
to me for now,I must accept myself is a woman* but yeahh you can be happy with
your life. I am crawling, trying and will keep trying my best to walk away from
all those memories. I know I can. I even did it once. Plus,it has past two
years and hopefully its gonna be easier as people said time heals everything. May
ALLAH help me. And help you too.
Feeling so sleepy after my long,
hurtful, emotional cry
Let me sleep. Allah wants me to rest
When I wake up, I hope for a happier
me
25 July 2015
12.55 PM
My sweety bedroom
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